Closing Time

Me, at the Turf Tavern in Oxford

I’m coming to the end of my time in England, and that means closing time for this little side project. For those keeping score at home, I visited and catalogued 21 pubs during my six-week adventure. I felt that was an appropriate number: 21 is the legal drinking age in the states, and the 21st Amendment repealed prohibition. Seems rather fortuitous.

I left many old boozers undiscovered, but such is the nature of travel. You can’t see and experience everything, but you explore what you can. Still, I didn’t want to jump on a jet and just end this blog at a hard stop. But how to bring it in for a soft landing? I suppose a ranking of pubs from most to least favored is simplest. Sure. Why not?

1. The Seven Stars
2. The Wrestlers
3. The Spaniards Inn
4. The Mayflower
5. The Turf Tavern (Oxford)
6. The Nags Head
7. The Churchill Arms
8. The George Inn
9. The Guinea
10. The Grapes
11. The French House
12. The Lamb & Flag
13. Town of Ramsgate
14. Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese
15. Ye Olde Mitre
16. The Old Nick
17. Cittie of Yorke
18. The Grenadier
19. The Prospect of Whitby
20. The Old Bell Tavern
21. Hoop & Grapes

Then again, how much can a list capture? Ranking has inherent problems. Defining something as the best via loose criteria and then seeking it out often brings about less joy than simply embracing the immediately accessible. Moreover, without an understanding as to how a ranking was derived, the information it conveys is useless. To that end, I’ve linked each pub to its respective post so my initial reflections can provide some context.

 

However, those posts are granular and disconnected. I think it worthwhile both for myself and my reader(s) if I describe more generally my thoughts on my London Crawling project as a whole.

 

Just to get this out of the way, I realize you may find it pretentious of me to describe a travel blog of a six-week pub crawl as a “project,” as though it were some grand scientific undertaking. I wouldn’t describe the research within as particularly rigorous, and though I clearly had fun with it, I also took it seriously. I meant what I said in my introductory post when I described the pub as “a place where humanity exercises its most phenomenal and foundational qualities,” namely fostering connections and community with others.

 

Building on that point, the better the pub contributed toward comradery, the higher it climbed on my list. I assessed this feature through informal observations, mostly around three questions: 

1. Do the employees enjoy each other’s company? 
2. Do the patrons enjoy each other’s company? 
3. Do the employees have a sense of the patrons as persons? 

Even as a stranger in their midst, the environment was much more welcoming when regulars were sprinkled in, and quirks and inside jokes shared amongst the staff. It lent to a sense of uniqueness, to a feeling of something special.

 

That uniqueness sadly appears under threat. Major brewers own and operate many English pubs—Fuller’s, Nicholson’s, Sam Smith, and Greene King being the most prominent ones from what I saw. I give them credit regarding transparency. It’s very clear from the signage who runs what, which is something I can’t say for similar conglomerates back home. However, there’s a cold efficiency to the English pub system that outmatches even our American tendencies.

 

Keeping in mind this is informed only by personal observation, my sense is that the American model hinges on variety. An owner of multiple bars can capture a wider market share by diversifying the offerings and experiences of his or her establishments.

 

The English model leans more toward uniformity. Take Greene King, for instance. It runs thousands of establishments across the U.K., including the George Inn in London and the Turf Tavern in Oxford. You would think two pubs 58 miles apart would be radically different. In some ways they are, but in others, not so much. They have similar branding, similar drink offerings, and the exact same food menus. While I like both pubs, I can’t help but feel some of the charm has been sacrificed in service to the conglomerate. As such, I tended to enjoy independent (or at least independent-minded) pubs over their corporate cousins.

 

But as I said, I like the George and the Turf. They’re Nos. 8 and 5 on my list, respectively. How can this be? Mathematics offers the simplest answer. Most pubs I visited are tied to a specific brewery, so some were bound to make the top choices. The more complete answer revolved around people. To some extent, the comradery factor I mentioned comes into play. More important, though, is that I visited these places with friends and colleagues. All things being equal, the quality of the company and the conversation are the great separators.

 

My wife, Chelsey, often comments that I like bars not because I like to drink, but because I like to talk. I think in part that’s a reprisal of my loquacious nature, but I own that reality. I mean, fucking hell! I wrote over 11,000 words for a travel blog on London pubs that maybe a dozen people will read—and I did it for fun. I clearly like to spin a yarn.

 

But I also like to listen. People fascinate me. We’re social animals, and the stories we tell and the experiences we live through bind us together, for good or ill. Pubs serve as grand gathering places, the last vestiges of the classical forum, the cathedrals of companionship where life truly happens.

 

But alas, here we are at closing time. “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here,” the old adage goes. Yet for homo sapiens—or perhaps, more aptly, homo socialis—few places could feel more like home than the pub. Anyone fancy a pint?

The Turf Tavern

Photos and First Impressions

Main Entrance

Front Bar

Back Bar

Central Rooms

Rear Rooms

Northern Patio

Southern Courtyard

Old City Wall, Bordering Southern Courtyard

Key Historical Marker

Chronicling from the Barstool

 

Figured I’d include a bonus round of sorts, as this one's outside London, but just too good to pass up. I traveled to Oxford to visit the town and university, where I naturally sought out a hearty lunch and pint of ale, and there’s nowhere better than the Turf Tavern.

 

The foundation of the Turf (as its affectionately known) dates to 1381, when the building functioned as a malt house and tavern, so I’m counting that as the founding date, which I believe makes it the oldest pub I’ve visited. Still, even if I weren’t so generous, the front room was built sometime in the 1600s. Either way you slice it, the gal’s got some years on her.

 

The pub rebranded in 1852, adopting its current name and dropping the old moniker, the Spotted Cow. Apparently, the former establishment had quite the reputation for gambling, going so far as to host both dog and cock fights. Now that’s not to say illicit activity doesn’t go on in the Turf. Allegedly, this pub is where Rhodes Scholar and future President Bill Clinton smoked but “did not inhale” some wacky tobacky, a story the pub actively advertises.

 

Given its location and long history, a number of well-known historical figures have visited the pub. I’d say it’s a fair bet to count among those patrons most any notable Oxonian—the exceedingly British and delightfully pretentious name the university uses to refer to its alumni.

 

The Turf is a bit hard to find, with its two entrances each well off the mains streets and only accessible after walking down long, narrow passageways. The pub itself is a bit of a maze as well. It has a front and back bar, themselves connected, but used to distinctly separate two small rooms. There are also two additional rooms further back, which are a bit larger.

 

The real action seems to be outside. There’s extensive seating on the north and south sides of the building, with the south side courtyard butting right up against the remnants of the medieval city wall. Both areas feature extensive greenery to brighten the predominantly wood and stone surroundings.

 

The Turf Tavern is an excellent watering hole, but its motto is the cherry on top an already delicious sundae. Famously, the University of Oxford motto is “Dominus illuminatio mea,” or “The Lord is my light.” Refusing to be outdone, the Turf promises patrons “An Education in Intoxication.” Magnificent. Simply magnificent.

 

Also in the pub’s founding year of 1381…

• Richard II rules England (age 14, by the way).
• Peasants’ Revolt begins, and ends, with Richard II personally suppressing rebel forces.
• Lithuanian Civil War begins.
• Venice defeats Genoa in the War of Chioggia.
• Tamerlane conquers Persia.

On Draught

 

Reggies Turf

Greene King

4.5% ABV

 

This was my favorite cask ale during my entire time in England. Much more malty than the others I tried, it has a hint of caramel as well. The rich, amber color reflects the full flavor profile, plus an ABV north of 4% is a bit closer to what I’m accustomed.